Anyone who has ever read my profound essays on the incredulous life of the mountain goat will know that I am the best gift-giver. In those circumstances, buy your male window-dressing one of these this year:
Under $10: If it is for your dog walker.
Do what I did with my first boyfriend in Grade 7. That is, buy him Rip Curl stickers to put over his school books. He loved it, and we dated for over 2 weeks. About $10, from CityBeach or your respective small town surf shop.
Under $60: If you are a tightarse or a uni student.
I feel ya sister. Electronic tie rack. I think men seem to enjoy practical gifts that make their lives easier. This tie rack is stupidly convenient. It has a little light and spins so that they can find the very tie that matches their button up white Lowes shirt. $59.95, from Howards Storage World.
Under $100: If you make spreadsheets and budget for Christmas presents because you are a nerd/Type A control freak.
Aesop Lyndhurst Terrace Men’s Skincare Kit. Warning: He will probably hate this but don't let that stop you. Perfect for girlfriend sleepovers. Comes with very un-female and non-flower smelling face cleanser, B & Tea Balancing Toner and Mandarin Facial Hyrdating Cream. Give him some masculating beauty products this year why don’t you?! $89.00, from Aesop.
Tiffany & Co cufflinks, $295. Enough said.
Under $400: If you are like Jean and overspend on every gift to the point of embarrassment.
Waterman Expert Matte Black Chrome Trim Fountain Pen. Obviously ideal for Sunday morning Sudoku, crosswords and general doodling. I'm kidding you doofus. Only good for smugly poking out of a pocket. The Pen Shoppe, $380.
Under $500: If your great-great-grandma just died in a freak hang-gliding accident and you inherited several bazillion dollars.
Hugo Boss Functional All-weather golf bag. Men, for whatever reason, like to own golfing accessories. Even if they play once in every 8 years where they will of course demonstrate how little they know about the sport. And look exceedingly good while doing so. $450, from Hugo Boss.
Under $1000: If you are a Kardashian sister.
Louis Vuitton Damier Graphite Canvas Agenda. This will look almost as good as your Year 2 swimming teacher's red plastic clip board. Except obviously, much more expensive. Louis Vuitton, $815.
Under $5000: If you are Kate Middleton and your fiance is a babe.
Um, thanks for reading my blog Kate. You should get William an Omega De Ville Prestige Quartz watch. Pocket change, obviously. $4375, Omega or Watches of Switzerland.
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