Do you know what? As soon as Winter is gone I long for it again like a pining school girl wishing her football playing boyfriend would call. And I also miss the make up routine I had going on there for a while – because I start to think I have my make-up look down pat, ya know? Darker lipstick, frostier cheeks. A bit of a nice shine without having to worry about a sweat moustache.
Alas. Since Spring came along I realised I’d been eating masses of Greek yoghurt and muesli and getting addicted to Gossip Girl Season 3 on the couch with my housemates. Which resulted in clothes feeling tighter than usual. So I decided to start walking to and from work. At the pace I walk at, the suit still feels absolutely the same level of tightness, but with the added bonus of sweat. Because I also decided I would cheat the system by just walking to work in said suit (haha, sucked in Lorna Jane wearing walkers. I don’t have to get changed when I get to the office..hahaha). This doesn’t create a good look when you get to work. Sweat patches everywhere, lipstick on chin, eyeshadow on cheeks, eyebrow pencil on eyelids, hair on neck… etc… etc.
How do we avert this crisis? Powder. Powder man, that’s all you need. I have single handedly defeated the moisture/make up problem that has haunted people who walk to work in their suit since the creation of Lipsmackers in the early 90’s.
1. Sunscreen. This is actually a heinous step when it comes to looking dry and elegant, because your face will be an oil slick after applying. But it is unavoidable if you walk to work in the morning sun. Use Hissyfit 30+ tinted sunscreen to cover up pimples and left-over Vegemite from breakfast.
2. Foundation – Dermalogica Redness Relief. Are you someone who turns pink if you a. walk to work in your suit? b. talk too fast? c. have at least 1 glass of wine? D. Laugh? Well you are part of the pink-face-club like me*. And you just have to use the green-based Dermalogica Redness Relief. Clinique also do a 3-step anti-redness course of products for red-faced addicts. I’m considering joining the program. *My cousin has red hair so there is obviously some kind of red-gene floating around my family.
3. Powder. Put a coat of powder over sunscreen and foundation. I use Napoleon Camera Finish which I’ve re-fallen in love with since Spring as I know it to be too drying for Winter.
4. Use Benefit Posie Tint on Cheeks. Won’t move even if you are participating in Women’s wrestling in the Delhi Commonwealth Games and the arena’s air-conditioner is broken. It will not budge. I promise. Use a tiny bit if you want a soft flush. Use a whole drop if you want roses on your cheeks.
5. Lipstick. It would be completely understandable if you decided to apply your lippie once at work using the reflection from your Iphone. But seeings as I’ve started this list I am going to suggest an absolutely sweat-proof lipstick that will not move even if you pash a triathlete for the entirety of your 50 minute walk to work. I won’t even tell you what nasty things the people on bikes will say about you for taking up TWO spots on the walkpath though. Use Revlon’s Colourstay lipstick. Comes in a tube like a lipgloss but sets matte on the lips like cement. Don’t bother taking it in your handbag because you will not need to reapply.
6. Iced coffee. Because a hot coffee after walking to work is like a dirty nappy on a 5 year old. Inappropriate.
7. Stand in front of air-conditioner vent to dry underarm patches for 5-10 minutes. Sip iced coffee intermittently.
8. Spray Rexona over yourself like you are pepper spraying a paedophile in the park.
9. Voila.
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