Why I have joined the bushy eyebrow club and why I think you should too.

I thought about starting this blog post with a slightly disgusting and “in poor taste” play on words about growing a bush… but I thought of my parents and how disappointed they would be and decided against it.

I know the bushy eyebrow trend came into fashion several years ago, but like many girls who went to Blacks Beach Haircare for several years, or any respective small town beauty salon for that matter, I had been waxed into thinking that small twig eyebrows which could only be seen with a magnifying glass were the hottest thing since orange Oakley sunglasses and Etnie shoes on a free dress day.

Wrong. Nothing could be that cool.

Delightfully bushy.

I was also convinced that my eyebrows were not genetically gifted enough to be big and curvaceous. I thought, they were born with the skinny gene and they could eat Big Macs after drinking several litres of heavy beer, and would probably wake up feeling slightly bloated with the urge to lie in bed and watch Gossip Girl, but would still be gaunt, thin and lifeless.

I also had convinced myself, after several years of bleaching the crap out of my hair, that I was somehow a ‘fair-haired’ siren. And I had come to the conclusion that fair-haired girls were not capable of growing big, bushy eyebrows. Apparently though, if you stop bleaching your hair for 10-15 minutes of your life, brown roots will emerge. This will effectively blow any fair-haired theory you may have out of the water.

I’ve read that you should make your brows two shades darker than your general hair colour. So I do think that what I am about to write will not apply to blondes or your silver-washed grandma. In fact, next time you are in a depressed mood because you have ironing to do, think of the blondest friend you know and imagine them with big bushy black eyebrows. It’s fun, free entertainment. And they will never know you were ridiculing them. I think most blondes know their limits though, just as they know they can probably get their friends a free round of drinks within 5 hair flick's of arriving at a bar. Thank you blonde friends.

But actually since my brow obsession began, I've noted January Jones has a sweet rack (brow rack you sicko). This is her at the Emmy's feeling awkward that she forgot to bring a date, and looking very self-conscious. Poor girl.  So obviously if you are blonde, maybe slightly thinner and a general light brown would be sufficient.

Anyway back to me. So I went to a beauty salon and had them shaped and tinted. Several friends, family members and I’m pretty sure two men on the train laughed at me for the first couple of days because suddenly I had two more objects on my face. It looked a little bit like when you walk into your parent’s house and you can see your Mum has added something to the living area but you can’t tell what it is, but it just looks a bit fuller and busier. She laughs and then tells you it’s the giant pottery pieces she bought in Vietnam. You act impressed and thrilled. Off track Jeano, get it together...

But suddenly when you have eyebrows your whole face falls into balance again. Its like facial feng-shui. If you need more proof, think of anyone you know who has ever dyed their hair very dark. If they didn’t darken their eyebrows, they look unbalanced. It makes them look washed out for a reason, their eyebrows have completely disappeared. And most importantly, if you want to pull off a strong lipstick colour (like red or even poo-brown if you are my Mum in the 1980's) you just have to have brows to feng-shui that shit out.

Once you jump on the eyebrow bandwagon it’s all you notice anymore. You could have the fuggest face in the world from a housefire where you received 8th degree burns and I wouldn’t notice, because I will be staring at the perfectly sculpted artpieces that you have hung directly above your eyes. Magnifique.

I do find that I need to colour mine in Year 3 crayola style, with an eyebrow pencil in a light shade because I tend to go overboard. In fact, its all I do these days - colour,colour, colour. Pout in the mirror at myself. I think having sweet-ass brows tends to negate the need for concealers and other complexion covering devices, because they divert attention upwards. Its all about the top half baby. Its sick!

When I am hitting the town I also stick them into place with some form of brow gel (I've been using ModelCo)  which, if I am honest, I haven’t worked out what it actually is or does yet. But it makes them stay in place and look a tad shiny. I haven’t decided if this makes me cutting edge or a loser, I will have to see how many times my friends ridicule me and gauge the situation from there.

Ok, ok... you can have a photo.

Oh yeah work it girl, work it for the camera. REOW!

Pout girl. Pout like you just received news that your cat drowned. Oh yeah, thats it.

I find that strong eyebrows are great for giving Blue Steels in the reflection of shop windows while raising one eyebrow and loving yourself. They are also good for pouting in your bathroom mirror while listening to Jamelia Superstar on repeat on your Ipod Shuffle. Pfft... who would do that?!

Join the browvolution why dont you!